As one of the Resident Evil franchise’s most prominent and formidable female protagonists, Jill Valentine has been able to give the likes of Lara Croft and Ellen Ripley a run for their money over the years in terms of how she is able to handle herself.
Despite her rather evocative surname however, a date with the zombie-busting badass might actually turn out to not be all it’s cracked up to be. Here are just seven reasons why Resident Evil’s Jill Valentine is anything but the ideal date this February 14th:
An overprotective evil ex-boyfriend
Resident Evil 3’s hulking Nemesis had quite the attraction to little old Jill way back when on the Playstation One, and although she proves that she can hold her own against him, the last thing anyone wants is to become the next target for Umbrella’s dreaded “S.T.A.R.S” screaming tank. A date with Jill is sure to put you firmly in the sights of her overprotective evil ex-boyfriend, so it’s advisable to tread cautiously.
She’s far too attached to her jewellery
Remember that time in Resident Evil 5 when it took what felt like four hours to remove Wesker’s mind control device from Jill’s chest? For an action game that had a lot of highs, this was definitely a portion that felt a little drawn out. And all because Miss Valentine was too attached to her jewellery. Any decent guy knows that it’s what’s inside that counts, so avoid the all too materialistic Jill.
She’s married to her work
When you do as much globe-trotting as Jill Valentine, there’d be hardly any time left for the two of you to spend quality time together. Put simply, no Netflix ‘n’ chill. When she’s not acting as Wesker’s foil in the farthest African reaches of Kijuju she’s enjoying a cruise without you on luxury cruise liner Queen Zenobia. If ever you were to drag her away from her important world-saving duties there’s only one person who’s the villain: You!
She’s the boss at all times
There’s a reason Jill Valentine has remained tied with Claire Redfield as one of the most empowering female protagonists in all of video game history: that both have the ability to take you out at any time (and I don’t mean to a restaurant). The Resident Evil series is a shining beacon for capable women, and it’s a fact that people so often overlook. Dating Jill, she’s sure to wear the boots in a relationship.
Horror movies would bore her
When you’ve made such a habit of hanging out with the undead, you have to assume that sitting down together for a romantic viewing of George A. Romero’s Night of the Living Dead would have a very limited impact – or worse, remind her of work. Especially if you’re hoping to sneak your arm around her midway through your horror movie cinema date in the hope of being comforting, Jill will most likely end up being the one comforting you.
She’s always changing her appearance
As with most women, it’s only natural for Jill to want to feel beautiful and confident. In order to achieve this, she has quite the track history of moving with the ever-evolving trends of fashion, having been known to sport the very practical short brunette cut as well as the slightly more grungy long blonde flowing locks look. If you’re someone who’s admittedly not very observant and aren’t willing to notice and maybe even compliment her frequent change in style and appearance, you may find yourself at the wrong end of her gun.
That time she was almost a Jill sandwich
Not just Jill, but pretty much all of the Resident Evil characters have a habit of seeking out trouble, or letting the trouble find them. Dating Jill would certainly place you in the role of worry wart as opposed to doting boyfriend, especially when you hear from work colleagues how she was “almost a Jill sandwich”. If you don’t find yourself on tenterhooks, there’s always the possibility that Jill literally would be, that is if the ceiling doesn’t come crashing down on her.