Welcome, once again, to this week’s Totally True Gaming News round up!
News. There’s a lot of it around today, and at least 75% of it is about video games. But what do you when other websites are harping on about “new releases” yet all you want is the latest on that eSports player who got his face bitten off by Peter Molyneux? You come to GameSpew, of course. We’re here to keep you informed on what really matters, with our 110% accurate, entirely not made-up Totally True New Gaming News.
Capcom to release Resident Evil 7 downloadable costume packs
In the wake of the phenomenal popularity of Resident Evil 7, the latest entry in Capcom’s long-running survival horror series, the company has stated that they will be releasing a set of downloadable costumes for the game. Priced at £3.99 per pack, the costumes will alter the appearance of various in-game characters, both during cutscenes and regular gameplay.
The first pack will include: Sexy Cowgirl Marguerite Baker, Mankini Jack Baker, Bunny Hands Ethan, and Cheerleader Mia.
Rumours of a Street Fighter 5 themed pack remain unconfirmed.
Ankh Morpork Thieves’ Guild to sue G2A over G2A Shield
Head of the Ankh Morpork Thieves’ Guild, Josiah Herbert Boggis, has announced his intention to sue gaming marketplace G2A. The case, the first trans-dimensional lawsuit, will be over G2A Shield, a subscription service that supposedly ensures people who purchase G2A’s games can get their money back if the codes are invalid.
Speaking from the Discworld, through Unseen University’s “Thing What Lets Us Talk To Other Planes of Reality”, Boggis issued the following statement.
“As the multiverse’s only legal Thieves’ Guild, we pride ourselves on offering a first-class service to our clients. Those who pay for our “Theft Insurance” will, we guarantee, not be burgled, waylaid or mugged in any form, providing they continue to pay. So we were shocked to discover that this, our key service, has been copied wholesale by G2A with their “G2A Shield”. Like us, the company charges people a fee to ensure that they are not robbed, which is clearly a breach of our copyr.. “
At this point, the press conference was paused as one of the guild’s undead lawyers whispered in Mr Boggis’s ear.
“Wait, so people buy from them and then have to pay extra so they’re not ripped off? By Offler, at least we have standards. Is that.. is that maybe something we could look into?”
We contacted G2A’s founder, Alexei Dibblerzek, but have yet to hear back.
More games to feature real-life game company CEOs as NPCs
In response to Nier: Automata’s downloadable content, which lets you fight the CEOs of Platinum Games and Square Enix, other companies are to follow suit, releasing games or downloadable content featuring their owners. Titles thus teased are Devolver Digital’s Milk Fork Parker and the rabbit-themed Warren Spector’s Warren Inspector. A Randy Pitchford themed Aliens: Colonial Marines add-on was cancelled when it emerged art duties had been outsourced to a crayon-wielding two-year old, in exchange for half a Curly Wurly.
Mario Kart 8 Deluxe Nerfs Controversial “Driving” Technique
In response to user feedback, Nintendo will be removing the ability to “drive” from Mario Kart 8 Deluxe. The company had received complaints from gamers who were enraged that they were overtaken by other players, limiting their enjoyment of the game.
Therefore, as of the latest patch, characters will now instead traverse the courses on foot. The karts will remain in game but rather than driving them, players will be able to pick them up and hurl them at their opponents. Nintendo is reportedly considering adding vertical platforms to each track, in order to spice up gameplay.
Barbie Horse Adventures: Wild Horse Rescue HD Edition coming to Xbox One
Microsoft will soon be releasing an HD enhanced version of Barbie Horse Adventures: Wild Horse Rescue on Xbox One.
“We believe that it’s important that this iconic game is made available to a whole new generation,” explained a strangely angular and curiously dead-eyed Microsoft spokesperson.
“Barbie Horse Adventures: Wild Horse Rescue was one of the first Xbox games to be made playable on Xbox 360 and, as such deserves a place in gaming history. Aside from a higher overall resolution, Barbie Horse Adventures: Wild Horse Rescue HD Edition will include a range of additional enhancements. Barbie’s skin is twice as reflective and she now only has a 10% chance of glitching through her horse, passing through the ground into some eldritch abyss.”
Barbie Horse Adventures: Wild Horse Rescue HD Edition will receive a digital release in July with downloadable content, Barbie’s Adventures in the Uncanny Valley, to follow shortly after.
And there you have it; the news that matters, in a nutshell. Next week’s predictions – Sega put out Puyo Puyo Tetris VS Mortal Kombat, companies to offer Pre-Pre-Order Bonus Content and Nintendo release the Nintendo Classic Famicom Disk System.