Videogame characters will be the end of humanity and only one shadowy organisation can protect us.
You may or may not have heard of the SCP Foundation, motto “Secure, Contain, Protect”, a covert organisation that exists to protect humanity from certain doom. Masquerading as a fictional wiki, the SCP is dedicated to acquiring and isolating people, creatures and objects that range from the curious through to the potentially apocalyptic.
But what if they turned their attentions to the world of videogames, which contains enough horrors to destroy the world many times over? Come with me as I catalogue five videogame characters who would certainly attract the attentions of the SCP.
Sonic the Hedgehog (Sonic the Hedgehog)
Item #: SCP-1991
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Item SCP-1991 is to be permanently sedated, kept inside a reinforced metal cage which is in turn to be placed within a sealed concrete container.
Description: SCP-1991 appears to be some sort of human/animal hybrid. The creature’s skin is blue and several sharp bony protrusions project from its back; its eye sockets appear to have partially fused. The item exerts a subtle influence that causes those who encounter it to refer to it as a “hedgehog”, even though there are few similarities between it and the genus Erinaceidae, the common hedgehog.
While SCP-1991 does not direct its aggression towards any specific individual, it is extremely hazardous when active. It moves with such speed that any person in its path will be subject to extreme and likely fatal trauma. At maximum speed, SCP-1991 also has the ability to destroy a range of materials, from wood through to titanium, all of which shatter into oddly geometric pieces.
SCP-1991 appears to be wearing a pair of red “sneaker” style shoes. It was initially hypothesised that these could be responsible for the creature’s abilities and that they should be considered a separate SCP. However, further examination has revealed that these are in fact discoloured areas of SCP-1991’s flesh, laced with what appears to be sinew.
The Prince of the Cosmos (Katamari Damacy)
Item #: SCP-4002
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4002 is to be confined within a cell which is to be kept clear of any other matter.
Description: SCP-4002 is a small green, humanoid creature, 4 inches in height. It has once spoken to identify itself as “The Prince of the Cosmos” but has remained otherwise mute.
SCP-991 has the ability to gather objects which will then adhere to each other, forming a ball which grows in size as more items are “rolled” over. SCP-991 was discovered walking along the beach at ███████. Its appearance was discovered by SCP Team ███████ who were investigating the disappearance of the city of ███████. The city, including its deceased inhabitants, were discovered at the bottom of the ocean, in one solid water-logged mass.
It has been hypothesised that, uncontained, SCP-991 could create a sphere large enough to depopulate the entire planet and hence, its containment is paramount. The method by which SCP-991 gathers up items is unknown; the objects gathered stick to each other even if they lack any adhesive qualities. Following Dr ███████’s visit to the cell, SCP-991 was discovered gathering up a tiny ball of matter. When examined, it was discovered that the mass was composed entirely of skin cells and hair; an extraction mechanism has since been installed to ensure that the cell remains devoid of any unregulated matter.
Creepy Watson (Sherlock Holmes: Nemesis)
Item #: SCP-8002
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Using D-Series personnel, SCP-8002 is to be lured to and contained within a cell at location ███████
Description: Resembles a male human, clad in Victorian-era suit and bowler hat. However, efforts to remove any of these items from SCP-8002 have prove futile; item’s entire “body” appears to be one solid mass. SCP-8002 has been unofficially dubbed “Watson” by researchers, due it to its resemblance to Doctor Watson, as portrayed by Nigel Bruce in the 1939 series of Sherlock Holmes films.
SCP-8002 cannot be moved by hand, no matter how much force is applied. It will, however, move when unobserved, targeting the last person to make “eye” contact with it. SCP-8002 will then continue to pursue its subject and is capable of teleporting through solid matter to maintain its pursuit. Surveillance cameras focused on SCP-8002 will blank out when it “moves”, only returning to functionality with the item has moved.
While SCP-8002 acquired its unofficial name due to its appearance, it demonstrates a preference for anyone dressed as Sherlock Holmes. This was discovered when, as a “joke”, Dr. ███████ came to work clad in rented fancy dress. SCP-8002 immediately switched its attention from its previous to Dr. ███████ and pursued him over all other potential targets. This discovery has been used to help contain SCP-8002; A D-Series subject, clad in the costume, is to exposed to SCP-8002 and then placed in a cell, which the item will then relocate to.
SCP-8002 is not demonstrably hostile, but it has been shown to be detrimental to its subject’s health. D-Series personnel have, when being pursued by SCP-8002, found it difficult to sleep, likely due to the experience of being perpetually observed. Researcher ███████ was also killed in an automobile accident, due to SCP-8002’s intervention. Footage from ███████’s dashboard camera shows SCP-8002 appearing on the side of road as the researcher drove home; ███████ grew more agitated due to these appearances, finally careening off the road. SCP-8002’s ability to teleport is also of some concern.
Yoshi (Super Mario World)
Item #: SCP-991
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-991 is not currently confined and has free roam of ███████, but has shown no interest in leaving the site.
Description: SCP-991 is a bipedal green lizard, discovered roaming around the sewers of ███████. While in initially poor health, it has made a recovery and, following detailed research, has become an unofficial pet at site ███████.
SCP-991 does not resemble any known species of lizard, nor does it appear to have any links to other creatures in the fossil record. The creature seems to be vegetarian and will eat most plant matter; mushrooms and other fungi appear to be its preferred food.
Despite having demonstrated no interest in devouring insects, SCP-991 possesses a long, sticky tongue not unlike that of the common frog. While it will eat non-organic matter under normal circumstances, it can be “pointed” at objects, which it will subsequently devour. Extending a finger at a nearby object will cause SCP-991 to extend its tongue, snare and eat the item. SCP-991 will then expel a small “fireball” which is capable of singing bodily hair but otherwise inflicts little physical damage.
SCP-991 was briefly classified as Euclid when, during Bring Your Pets To Work Day, Dr ███████’s cat went missing. SCP-991 was confined until the feline was discovered, torn to pieces, in SCP’s ███████’s cell, whereupon SCP-991 was released. Bring Your Pets To Work Day has been postponed until further notice.
SCP-991 shows no ill-effects from swallowing objects and has been employed as unofficial garbage disposal by on-site staff. The items SCP-991 has eaten include:
- 251 empty soda cans
- 45 candy bar wrappers
- 3 “AA” batteries.
- Dr ███████’s glasses.
- Dr ███████’s pencil sharpener.
- Dr ███████’s car keys. (Dr ███████ is no longer allowed direct contact with SCP-991)
It has been posited by several researchers that SCP-991 could be used to dispose of radioactive waste and other hazardous materials, perhaps even smaller SCPs. The matter is currently under review.
Item #: SCP-1509
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1509 to be contained, denied access to any writing implements.
Description: SCP-1509 identifies itself as “Maxwell” and appears to be a human child, though SCP-1509’s skin is also oddly jaundiced. “Maxwell” possesses the ability to bring any being or object into existence by writing its name. Initial interviews with SCP-1509 revealed that the creature is even capable of creating objects that do not and have never existed. Interview was terminated when Dr ███████ was mauled by what appeared to be a robotic crocodile.
SCP-1509 has been kept in comfortable conditions, as would befit a normal human child though there is increasing evidence that “Maxwell” does not fit this description. Parental visits were cancelled when it was discovered that one of SCP-1509’s “parents” had smuggled in a pencil lead under their fingernail. SCP-1509 was in the process of writing the word “volcano” when the implement was wrested from him.
SCP-1509’s visitors have yet to attempt to return. Interviews with security staff have revealed that these “people” only ever referred to themselves as “Maxwell’s parents”, never divulging a last name. Further examination of security footage at site at site ███████ shows that while the individuals appeared at the entrance to the site, there is no indication as to how they arrived or left.
So there you have it. Our world would have ended (again) were it not for the sterling efforts of the SCP Foundation; though God alone knows what they’re going to make of Mario’s new cap.