Maybe it’s because I’m female, and so having a penis to whip out at will is something of a novelty to me. Maybe I’m just a closet sexual deviant, who knows. But playing the newly released House Party for the first time, I just couldn’t help but pull out my dick at every given opportunity.
Released last week into Early Access on Steam, House Party is something of a curiosity. A first person ‘adventure’ of sorts, you play as a young gentleman who’s been invited to a house party. You’ve got free reign of the house, being able to talk to whoever you please and poke your nose around every nook and cranny. In a similar vein to an old-fashioned point and click adventure, you’re able to pick up quests from party guests to retrieve items and solve puzzles.
Or, you know, you can just whack your shlong out in front of a complete stranger within two minutes of walking through the door.
Come on, if you discover that the controls for a game have a button specifically for taking out your penis, you’re going to try it. There’s also another button for, er, touching said penis once it’s out. And a little ‘orgasm’ meter that fills up. And yes, before you ask, there are “realistic” finishing effects.
You’d think a strange man popping out their genitalia at a house party might raise some kind of alarm, but apparently it’s pretty run of the mill for these partiers. One merely commented on its size, while another happily exclaimed, “it’s not a party without a bit of nudity!”. Even when this strange man started pleasuring himself in front of a crowd in the kitchen, nobody batted an eyelid.
I’m very relieved to say I’ve never been to a house party like this myself.
Of course, there’s much more to House Party than simply revealing your willy to the world. But it’s rather distracting, so during my quick 30-minute preview of the game last night I didn’t get much done apart from exposing myself to everyone I could. I’ll be giving it another go soon – and will hopefully keep my zipper closed for a little longer – to bring you a full preview of the game.
It goes without saying that House Party isn’t for the easily offended – and apparently, it only gets worse the further you get – but if you’ve nothing against sex, nudity and general ridiculousness, then it’s certainly got enough riotous entertainment to keep you playing. Just watch out for the one guy who’ll punch your lights out if he sees you with a drink in your hand. Yeah, getting your dong out in his face is fine, but trying to swig a JD and coke is a step too far.
It’s a very strange party indeed.