It’s definitely been a week in gaming, with things that happened and things that didn’t happen.
But how do you know which things are worth thinking about? Thanks to GameSpew’s Totally True Gaming News Round Up, you don’t need to think about it at all. This week we’ve got these entirely trustworthy, non-imaginary, fiction-free newsthinks for you:
PlayStation 4 is actually a photoshopped Xbox One
In a surprising development, it’s been discovered that the “PlayStation 4” is in fact a poorly-disguised Xbox One. While the PS4, which was launched in 2014, was marketed as a competitor to the Xbox One, it appears that it is in fact internally identical to Microsoft’s console.
The deception was uncovered when one Reddit user dropped his PlayStation 4, which cracked open to reveal an Xbox One. Further investigations have revealed that the PlayStation 4 and Sony logos can be easily peeled off; likewise, PlayStation 4 games can be played on any Xbox One.
“It’s a fair cop,” admitted Cark Merny, Sony’s lead architecture designer. “It was pretty clear we were going to be pipped to the post by the Xbox One and we were months behind target. But we’d bought a new A3 printer and since we had these self-adhesive sheets and a bunch of black boxes kicking around, we thought ‘Why not?’”
The Advertising Standards Authority is currently investigating allegations that the Nintendo Switch is a rebadged Atari Lynx.
WWE 2K18 to feature accurate damage mode
Take Two Interactive has announced that WWE 2K18, the latest entry in the wrestling game series, will feature an optional accurate damage system. The feature has been added as a response to the rising popularity of “Extreme Wrestling”. When the mode is enabled wrestlers who are struck with a steel chair may lose teeth; spinal trauma and broken bones will also be a common occurrence.
While severe body trauma may lead to a “Game Over”, players will also have the option to override this and have their wrestlers fight on regardless. We tried out this feature during our time with the game and spent a good half an hour having Kurt Angle crawl around the mat, trying to bite The Big Show’s ankles.
Super Nintendo Land theme park opening early next year
Nintendo was originally working with Universal to create its much-anticipated theme park but has decided to go it alone. The company’s park, dubbed Super Nintendo Land, is currently being constructed just outside Tokyo and is expected to attract visitors from across the globe. Rides and attractions will be themed around a range of Nintendo properties from the Super Mario, Zelda and Metroid series through to more obscure and less popular games such as Balloon Fight and Pokémon Go.
Nintendo fans and gamers in general have been clamouring for tickets, which will go on sale in December. Attendees will be able to apply by filling in their details on the Super Nintendo Land website, whereupon 100 people will be randomly selected to receive tickets. Once those 100 people have visited and departed the park, it will be closed and will never, ever, open again.
Activision looking forward to ruining Crash Bandicoot
Following the positive response to the Crash Bandicoot N. Sane Trilogy, remastered versions of the original Crash Bandicoot trilogy, Activision has accounted it is looking forward to ruining Crash Bandicoot for future generations. Activision executive Will Simons explains:
“We were pleasantly surprised by how well received Crash Bandicoot N. Sane Trilogy was. We weren’t banking on it doing nearly as well as it has but now we can make plans to move forward. We’re actively looking at ways in which we can take Crash Bandicoot’s much loved legacy and just run it into the ground.
“We haven’t worked out all the specifics yet but any sequel will feature microtransactions. Maybe ‘pay-per-jump’ or ‘pay-for-lives’? We do know that the remasters of the Crash Nitro Kart trilogy will be only available if you pre-order every subsequent Crash Bandicoot game. Believe me, we won’t be happy until everyone born this millennium hates his stupid orange face.”
And that’s all the news there is. Predictions for next week: Fallout 4 advert criticised for lack of dubstep, Atari release ET: The Extra Terrestrial VR, Robocop to be Detroit: Become Human pre-order bonus.