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I Love The Witcher 3 Despite Being Ridiculously Dressed For Most of It

The Witcher 3 Geralt 5

When The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt launched in May 2015 I put around 40 hours into the PlayStation 4 version before drifting away from the title.

Years later, I find myself drawn to it once again, but this time on the Xbox One X thanks to it recently being enhanced for the console. Improved over time – both technically and mechanically – The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt has me in its grip now more than ever before, but one thing continues to stand out to me: it’s really hard to make Geralt of Rivia not look like a berk.

You start The Witcher 3 with Geralt wearing some basic Witcher gear, and you know what? He looks rather cool. He looks imposing and ready to do battle with whatever stands before him. If he was walking towards you in real life you’d shit your pants. But little more than few hours later that armour will be useless.

Whether bought from a shop, looted from a chest or taken off of the body of a slain foe, you’ll quickly acquire new new pants, gloves, boots and chest armour that easily outclasses your nifty looking starter gear, but with added protection comes a cost: fashion sense.

In the last week I’ve spent nearly thirty hours playing The Witcher 3, and I’ve spent nearly all of that time with Geralt looking like he’s lost his mind. Despite there being light, medium and heavy armour in the game nearly every piece I’ve found or been able to afford is of the light variety, and generally they look ghastly. Take a look at a few choice combinations below to see what I mean.

Nice blouse, Geralt!
Who ordered chicken legs?
A bit too old to cosplay as Link aren’t you, Geralt?

A get-up that consists of purple leather gloves, brown leggings and what looks like a gaudy blouse has become the bane of my life, but they offer me the most protection so I roll with them regardless. How people can speak to Geralt without laughing, however, I do not know.

Geralt is meant to be a Witcher – a mutant that hunts monsters for a living – but instead he often looks like a court jester. Dressed as he often is, I wouldn’t trust him to pet my cat, let alone do battle with a Noonwraith.

After spending so long looking like a bit of a goon I decided to live a little and use some of my many crafting materials to make some new Witcher gear – the Griffin set to be exact – but even that doesn’t make Geralt look like the tough cookie that he is, though it is an improvement. Take a look and see what you think.

The Witcher 3 Geralt Griffin

I imagine I’m only about a third of the way into the main story of the game and so I look forward to seeing what some of the later, heavy armour looks like, but up to now Geralt’s attire has been a great source of humour for me. He may be a white-haired hard-ass but he’s certainly not uptight about his appearance, and while his unorthodox clothing sometimes breaks your immersion in the lovingly created world it’s also a little endearing.

Once I’m done with The Witcher 3 (which is likely to not be for awhile) I’ll not only fondly remember killing Griffins and listening to the Bloody Baron’s colourful language, but also the hilarious outfits that I wore while doing so. The Witcher 3‘s clothing may be outlandish at times, but at least it’s not generic and easily forgettable, eh?

Editor in Chief // An avid gamer since discovering the wonders of the Acorn Electron in the '80s, Rich has nearly played more games than he's had hot dinners. Not one to put all his eggs in one basket, Rich is happy to play games of all genres, but he particularly enjoys racing games and anything that's full of non-stop action, especially if it includes a good dose of humour, horror or crudeness!