Spartan Fist is Blocky, Bright and Brawls-to-the-Wall

Spartan Fist is an over-the-top first-person brawler which has you punching your way through hordes of chunky enemies. It’s absolutely ludicrous, but that’s what makes it so much fun.

Less Kratos, more Killer Klowns, Spartan Fist from Glass Bottom Games is relentlessly cute. Even when the game’s first boss is towering over your fragile, blocky form, you’ll be hard pressed not to go “awww” at the tiny cats operating his mechanical body. At which point your fluffy enemies will slaughter you. But hey, at least you were dispatched by the most adorable nemesis ever.  


The game shoves you through a series of enclosed areas, crammed with equally cute enemies who need to be introduced to the business ends of your fists. In a faintly disturbing manner, you start the game utterly unequipped, so have to attach mechanical fists to your bloody arm-stumps in order to combat your foes. Enemies shamble towards you, and switching between fighting styles in order to break through their blocks, you punch them till they explore in a shower of gore (or rainbows, your choice).  

And yet, for all its cutesy appeal, Spartan Fist didn’t really grab me until it was trying to actively murder me with death machines. Make it far enough and you’ll encounter guillotines, flamethrowers and more. Aside from being a risk to your person, they’re an amusing way to get rid of enemies. As impressive as regular kills are, using the environment to slaughter your foes is a lot of fun.

Whether Spartan Fist can keep up the momentum is another matter. But in the short term, the game proved amusing and endearingly silly. If brightly coloured block-bashing mayhem appeals to you then check out Spartan Fist, available now on Steam