Today’s Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Nintendo Direct Was a Joke

Nintendo Directs are usually a cause of celebration for Nintendo fans: focused little presentations, revealing lots of information about one or more of its upcoming games.

Today’s was entirely focused on Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. All forty minutes of it. And while we got some useful information in it – a better look at how the game’s story mode will work, and a couple of new character reveals – we also got a lot of pointless stuff. Have you ever known a game reveal to take you through all of the options menu?

I wish I was kidding.

I can confirm that Super Smash Bros. Ultimate gives you the ability to change the brightness of your game! You can also change the game’s language!

This presentation did not need to be 40 minutes long, and honestly I’m a little disappointed in Nintendo for dragging it out so long. A lot of time was spent showing us the same thing – details of a new ‘Spirits’ system – which could have surely been summarised much more succinctly. Other, more interesting, pieces of information – like a story mode that sees Kirby the one true saviour of every other fighter – were merely brushed over. I’d much rather know about that than telling me how to adjust the game’s volume levels, thanks.

Nintendo also used the Direct to try and flog us individual DLC or a season pass – there’s going to be five further fighters to come to Smash over the first year once it’s released. Those fighters haven’t even been created yet, so Nintendo can’t tell us who they will be – but wants us to buy them anyway. Go figure.

Some of the more useful tidbits of information buried in there included the reveal of the starting roster’s final two characters: Ken from Street Fighter and Incineroar from Pokémon. That’s all 74 characters wrapped up. Well, unless you pre-order the game, in which case you’ll also get – wait for it – a Piranha Plant from Mario. Yep.

Look, Smash Bros. looks great and all, and it may have a massive fan following. But none of us – none of us – needed to watch a 40 minute presentation today just to be shown the game’s goddamn options menu. I know games might not come with instruction booklets these days, but that’s not what game announcements are for.