With the reveal of Borderlands 3, the Borderlands series is at the forefront of our minds.
Borderlands is one of our favourite series to play – it never fails to amuse us with its crazy side-quests and constantly hilarious (if not a little outrageous) humour.
To celebrate this week’s Borderlands news, we’ve compiled a list of ten of our favourite Borderlands 2 funny moments. It’s hard to pick out just 10, as the game from start to finish is just non-stop crazy. The impeccable voice acting coupled with some of the best writing we’ve seen in a video game makes the entire experience endlessly entertaining.
So, without further ado, in the words of Scooter, “catch a riiiiiide” through 10 of the best bits from Borderlands 2.
Who doesn’t love a bit of inappropriate sexual humour, and that’s exactly what Innuendobot delivers. You meet this NPC in an area called Ore Chasm (yes, really), and he’ll entertain you with such gems as “prepare to be penetrated with bullets” and “stand erect and prepare for combat”. Or sometimes just “Sex sex sex sex sex sex” is enough to get a giggle.
Mister Face McShooty is a random psycho in the Thousand Cuts area, though unlike his counterparts, he doesn’t unleash an attack on you. Instead, he’s stood on a ledge, shouting at you to, you guessed it, shoot him in the face. And that’s your entire mission. If you shoot him somewhere else other than his face? He doesn’t like it. “I said in the face!” “My face! The thing shouting at you – shoot it!”
“SHOOT ME IN THE FACE! IN THE FAAAAAAAACE! DO IT! SHOOT ME IN THE FACE! FACE FACEFACEFACEFACE! NOW! BULLETS IN THE FACE! WANT EM! NEED EM! GIMMEGIMMEGIMME! AT THE SOUND OF THE BELL IT WILL BE FACESHOOTING O’CLOCK! BONGGGGG! KNOCK KNOCK WHO’S THERE SHOOT ME IN THE FACE! END OF JOKE! I’M GONNA SING A SONG! SHOOT ME AT THE END OF IT! DA DA DA DA DA DA DA! BONG!! …I NOTICE YOU HAVEN’T SHOT ME IN THE FACE! CURIOUS AS TO WHY! Maybe you’re weighing the moral pros and cons but let me assure you that OH MY GOD SHOOT ME IN THE GODDAMNED FACE!! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!?!”
Early on in your Pandorian (is that the word?) adventuring, you’ll do a quest for Sir Hammerlock called “The Name Game”. Basically, he’s decided that he doesn’t want to call bullymongs – the local beasties – “bullymongs” anymore. He’ll have you hunting them, running through various name suggestions as you do, before eventually settling on Bonerfart. Sadly, the name has to get changed back to Bullymong, but it’s funny for the short time you’re ask to hunt “bonerfarts”. Ah, juvenile humour at its finest.
Surely everyone by now has seen the Double Rainbow video that hit the big time on YouTube a few years ago? (Apparently its had over 40 million views – so intense!) Borderlands 2 did what Borderlands does best and paid homage to a bit of popular culture by having a “double rainbow” themed easter egg. An isolated cliff near The Highlands has a camping area set up, and when you reach this area, it’ll trigger the double rainbow cut scene – accompanied by a secret achievement/trophy called “What does it mean?”
It’s hard to pick out just one Claptrap moment, as he’s perpetually hilarious, so I’m just including everything Claptrap has ever said or done as one whole funny moment. Personal highlights include his inability to climb stairs (“Stairs? Nooooo! Damnit Jack! How did you know stairs were my only weakness?!”), his birthday party quest, and such gleaming one-liners as “I am the last Claptrap in existence, and I will teabag your corpse!” and “Just follow the SOOTHING SOUND of my VOICE”. We can’t get enough of the little robotic wonder.
Pop culture references
There’s so many of these, and I’ve already singled a couple out, but so many of them make me smile I wanted to include ALL OF THEM. Greedy, maybe, but Borderlands 2 is simply teeming with references to films, TV programmes, songs and games. Some of my favourites are the enemies known as “Donkey Mong” and “Rakkman”, and in Tiny Tina’s DLC the New-U respawn points sometimes say “Consider me your own personal Phoenix Down” as a little nod to Final Fantasy.
There’s a full and very extensive list of all the pop culture references here.
Scooter’s love poem to Daisy
Scooter wrote a beautiful poem for Daisy declaring his very deep feelings for her.
Then Daisy read the poem and shot out her own brains. Poor Scooter.
I like you a whole lot
More than that bandit liked spoonin’ that ro-bot.
You are a diamond in the rough
or a flower surrounded by shrapnel and stuff
I will hang myself from my own tombstone
if within you I cannot put my bone.
Again, I can’t pick just one Handsome Jack moment. Everything that Jack says or does is grin-worthy. He’s supposed to be the big bad evil villain… but you can’t help but be rooting for him! Here’s just one of many hilarious lines from Jack:
“Citizens of Opportunity! You represent the beginning of a grand adventure. Opportunity is only the FIRST Hyperion city on Pandora. One day you’ll be saying, “Bandits? What’s a bandit? I can’t hear what you’re saying over the motor of this free blowjob machine Handsome Jack gave all of us.”
Yes, another cop-out having a character and everything she’s ever said under one listing – but how else was I meant to choose 10? I could probably choose a list of 10 funny moments just from Tina alone. This is one 13 year old with a lot of attitude. The missions with Tina are some of the best in the game, just because of her constant onslaught of swearing and brashness… and badonkadonks. Let’s not forget the badonkadonks. Oh daaaaaayum, you lookin’ good, ladies. Let’s get to work.
Slap Prince Jeffrey
Prince Jeffrey is an enemy in the DLC Tiny Tina’s Assault on Dragon Keep. He’s a ruthless young prince described by Tina as a “douche”. Sound at all familiar? Being massive Game of Thrones fans, the first time we played this through, we couldn’t stop laughing. Obviously Pandora’s answer to Joffrey from GoT, who wouldn’t want an excuse to slap him? Sadly a slap is all we could give the little bugger. He took one slap and then cowered in fear. There was even a recreation of the iron throne – made out of guns instead of swords.
Borderlands 2, we salute you for all the hours of entertainment you’ve provided us. We look forward to experiencing you all over again in glorious 4K in April, and we will be on the edge of our seats for any more news on Borderlands 3. We have no doubt it’ll be just as hilarious!