For no reason in particular, which do you prefer, cinnamon or butterscotch?
Unfortunately your answer won’t matter in regards to the disaster that I have recently created. On previous cooking/baking ventures I’ve managed to create something edible at least. This time around what I created was more akin to something that Professor Philip Brainard from Flubber would create in his lab – i.e a pudding-like substance that one out of four people will want to immediately spit out to avoid poisoning their body.
What can I say? You can’t win them all.
For those that want to follow along and create an inedible monstrosity, read the following cautiously and don’t share it with anyone for I fear the creature may have found out how to spawn and will make horrific pie-like babies that will take over the world. But if you’d like to try and make Toriel’s Cinnamon Butterscotch Pie from Undertale yourself, then please heed my words as a warning: I’ll let you know where I think things went wrong.
Sigh. Toriel would be so ashamed.
- 1 graham cracker pie crust (this should have been a regular pie crust)
- 1 cup brown sugar
- 4 tbsp cornstarch (if your hair is feeling extra greasy you can rub cornstarch in your hair rather than using dry shampoo. Fun fact! Because god knows you won’t be getting anything else helpful out of this recipe)
- 5 egg yolks
- 2 cups milk (I switched this to almond milk to try and make my stomach less angry, I’m almost positive that this was a huge mistake)
- 1 cup heavy cream
- ¼ cup butter
- 2 tbsp water
- 1 and ½ tbsp cinnamon
- 1 and ½ tbsp vanilla extract
- ½ tsp nutmeg
- Whipped cream made from almond milk (Delicious!)
More cooking from video games:
- The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Sweet Roll
- The Portal Cake – This Was (Not) a Triumph
- The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker’s Elixir Soup
How to (not) make the cinnamon butterscotch pie from Undertale
Step 1. Pre-heat your oven to 350 degrees F (180 degrees C).
Step 2. If you’re not making a monstrosity and you’re using an actual pie crust then you’ll want to bake your pie crust in the oven for 20 minutes before putting in the filling.
Step 3. In a large bowl, mix together the yolks, cornstarch, vanilla extract, cinnamon and nutmeg as well as a ½ cup of brown sugar. To get the yolks out, try cracking an egg in half. Move the egg back and forth between the two halves of the egg shell. Put the whites in a frying pan and make yourself a lovely omelette. Save the yolks for the pie. Throw the omelette away when you realise you don’t have any other ingredients and you don’t really like eggs by themselves.
Step 4. In a medium-sized pot, melt your butter over medium heat until it browns. Remove immediately. Don’t burn your tongue when you attempt to taste it to see if its browned enough. It really smarts.
Step 5. In another bowl (because you haven’t already dirtied enough dishes) mix together your milk and heavy cream.
Step 6. In a new saucepan add the other ½ cup of brown sugar and water until a caramel starts to form. In this case, I attempted to use a candy thermometer to heat the caramel to 240F, but because there was such a small about of caramel I was unable to get an actual reading. Probably another reason why it ended up looking like vomit. I also had a tough time getting the thermometer out of the packaging so here’s a picture of me trying to cut it open.
Step 7. Once you have a caramel, add your milk mixture.
Step 8. Pour this new mixture into your egg yolk mixture and cook over low heat until it starts to thicken. Remove from the stove and let it sit for 5 to 10 minutes.
Step 9. Pour your creature into your pie crust and bake in the oven for 25 minutes.
Step 10. Remove the pie from your oven and take note of the butter that has made its way to the top of the pie. Scream at your roommate who will encourage you to put it back in the oven for another five minutes. After five minutes, remove from oven, stir the disaster and leave it to sit and think about what has happened.
Step 11. Place the cover on the pie after it has cooled, and put it in the fridge for at least one hour.
Step 12. The next day, because you were too afraid to eat it the night before, add some whip cream in a creative manner to the pie even though you know nothing can save the monster you’ve created. Take a slice out of your pie plate. Your roommate will likely be supportive and kind, claiming to enjoy the pie. Spit out your bite of pie into the sink. Then throw your pie into the garbage – the only place where it belongs.