The world sucks right now.
We all know it. We’re all living it. All across the world many of us are quarantined to our own homes. We’re slowly getting used to this new reality of life within the same four walls. For lots of us, it means working from home or not working at all. It means swapping the gym for home workouts, and those regular meals out for home cooking. For some it’s an easier adjustment than others; as for me, I have videogames to thank for helping me get through this dark time. Allow me to elaborate.
My Home Workout
It may astound you to read this information, but someone who spends most his days either playing games or writing about them isn’t very active. I couldn’t tell you how to use half the equipment at the gym, and the only regular workout I get is when I drop my controller on the floor. Whatever exercise I did have has been eradicated with the UK lockdown – so I have been asked very nicely by my fiancée to do a daily workout.
The only problem is the only idea I have of what a typical workout should look like comes from games. I won’t lie; I can’t do a squat without seeing Cloud from Final Fantasy VII in my vision. His janky polygon thighs jolting up and down is my only guide on how to attempt one. At least I can bust out the Nobuo Uematsu jams for my 30-minute sweat-athon every day.
Updating My Escape Plan
I was brought up playing Resident Evil games. I consider Nemesis to be on about par with my mum and dad, in a ranking of influential people of my childhood. What can I say – I was always shooting for the S.T.A.R.S…. Ok, sorry, that was bad.
This viral pandemic is very scary, but it hasn’t reached Raccoon City levels. Not yet, at least. But I’m ready. I’ve created a thorough plan of what I’ll do if and when the dead start rising.
Look, I’ll level with you all; I can’t pretend that my life has changed too dramatically. Even before the lockdown, I’d spend my days crawling out of bed, turning on my PC or PS4, then shoot some stuff ’til it was time for bed again. The only difference now is, instead of immense levels of self-loathing, I am now super smug.
I am the sensible healthy beacon of the community. I am the ideal citizen and the blueprint for what a person should be like. I have switched places with those who are playing football in the park and relaxing socially at an over expensive coffee place after a business seminar. Be like me. I am the ultimate role model in these trying times.
If you empty your shopping bags onto your counter nowadays, it’s unlikely you’ll have rustled up enough ingredients that even Ainsley Harriott could make a meal from. But as a gamer, I have seen such a variety of meals that can be crafted by the struggling home chef. I have seen Mudoken ground up into ‘New ‘n’ Tasty’ ingredients; I have seen Ignis whip up Michelin-star meals from scrap; I have fed my Sims cruel, cruel dinners. I know how to improvise.
I am not the only one to have lived a life online, playing games. There are thousands of people who play games like me; walk, talk and act like me. We are a community in the millions and we have learnt how to communicate with each other without having the nuisance of leaving our chairs.
We are the cornerstones of online chatting, we know how to share our screens, stream our games and video chat. Now we are seeing multitudes of people trying to do the same. Heck, some multi-million pound companies are still using Skype as if it’s still a thing.