Hey, Skag Brain! I’m going to make a pizza out of your insides!
You look like just the kind of meat puppet dumb enough to have not played Borderlands yet. Or maybe you’ve just beat your massive fists against a controller on one of those fancy pancy gaming consoles to play it. Not me. I collected the skins of over 37 newborn babies and sold them to Chad to get myself a PC. Like a real gamer. You don’t know Chad? SHUT UP. Everyone knows Chad.
I know what you’re thinking. “I have a PC, but I’m not a talented baby skinner like you. I can’t afford to buy the game.” HA! If you don’t stop talking I’m going to wear your skin like a condom on my head.
I know you’re stupid so here it goes – Borderlands: The Handsome Collection is free on the Epic Game Store right now for you Skag Lickers. It comes with Borderlands 2 and Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel (not that anyone wants to be reminded that that was a thing.) If you get it before June 4th, it’s yours to keep forever.
The best part? The Handsome Collection comes with all of the add-on content for both games. Extra characters to play as, more missions, and best of all – MORE LOOT.
You’d have to be actual faeces coming out of a spider ant’s anus to not take this deal. So go sign into the Epic Game Store and grab your copy of Borderlands: The Handsome Collection for free right now and I won’t put you on my “Turn Into A Meat Bicycle” list along with my grandmother, my best friend Karl and that guy who sold me a rotten skag steak last week.