You see lots of them on the PlayStation Store. You know, games that you don’t know why they exist.
Waifu Impact is one of the latest. It’s all about running about an isolated Island as one of numerous bikini-clad girls, shooting others with water pistols until they crumple thanks to ragdoll physics. They then disappear into a puff of smoke. Along the way there are 25 stars to collect, often tucked-away in hard-to-reach places. And if you defeat 30 of the island’s inhabitants without running out of health yourself, a “super waifu” appears, making Waifu Impact feel like a kaiju game for a short while.
Ultimately, it’s criminally inoffensive. Well, apart from the fact that running around an island as a woman in her undies is pure titillation. There’s nothing noteworthy or adventurous about the gameplay – it works, with little friction along the way. Once you’ve started chasing stars, chances are you won’t stop until found them all. And if you’re into trophies, you’ll take control of each available waifu and defeat 50-odd enemies with each to secure the platinum.
But there’s nothing here that really makes it worth your time. It’s an empty, soulless experience that has no message or purpose. It’s videogame junk food of the lowest order. At least other games focused on titillating players such as Senran Kagura and Dead or Alive have deep gameplay systems and stories that either try to give context to the action, engage players, or simply make them laugh. Waifu Impact has nothing.
Its saving grace is the price. At just £4.99, it’s certainly on the budget end of the scale. Put some of your favourite music on or listen to a podcast and it might make for some mindless action to pass the time away, especially once you’ve unlocked its wave-based arena mode. But if Waifu Impact didn’t exist, the world wouldn’t be missing anything. It’s unremarkable in every way; its gameplay is just perfunctory, and it isn’t even really titillating unless poorly-animated anime ladies get you hot under the collar for some reason.
Waifu Impact is available now on PS4, PS5, Switch and PC.