Got a spare statue lying around? Just repaint it as Mario, we’re sure it’ll all work out fine.
That at least, seems to have been the thinking behind this frankly disturbing Koala Mario statue. Our first thought was that it was a repainted capybara but once you spot the ears it’s pretty clear what this nightmare once was.
It was spotted by a Reddit user who, presumably, also isn’t ever sleeping again. Sure, we’re cool with Elephant Mario, but this is just nightmare fuel. And the more we think about it, the worse it gets.
For example, does Koala Mario have a koala’s skeleton? Or has his human skeleton been distorted to the point where every bone at its breaking point? Is he silently screaming, praying for sweet release from his torment? Perhaps it’s better that we don’t know.
According to the Reddit poster (and as confirmed by other snaps of it online), this is outside of an arcade in Coolangatta, Australia. It looks like the kind of arcade you rarely see in the UK, which makes us a little jealous. Though we’re not brave enough to visit it, not with Koala Mario lurking outside.
It’s not the most disturbing statue we’ve ever seen, that that honour has to go to Mr Chips, who is eating his own potatoey brain matter. But if we saw one of these coming down a tree we’d run a mile.