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Be Very Glad Baldur’s Gate 3 Doesn’t Have WhatsApp

Gale from Baldur's Gate 3 with a phone held up against his face.

Isn’t WhatsApp great? You can chat individually, in groups, send files, tear your hair out when it just won’t stop pinging, you know the drill. And now, one Baldur’s Gate 3 player has imagined what’d be like if WhatsApp came to Faerûn.

Think you don’t get a moment’s peace now? Just imagine getting a message every five seconds because Astarion needs blood, tadpoles or both. Then there’s Gale and his constant need to nom magical artifacts. And then there’s Shadowheart complaining about Lae’zel, Lae’zel complaing about Shadowheart…

We have Redditor SneakyClue for putting this nightmare in our heads. They’ve whipped up an image show just what such a scenario would entail. Though since they’re apparently playing as the Dark Urge there’s the real possibility that these nagging companions would be found dead, with their phones shoved into various orifices. Only Wyll is being chill, though he’s interrupting you to message you that you should relax.

And yet, while this is absolutely how events would unfold if Baldur’s Gate 3 got WhatsApp, there’s another side that SneakyClue hasn’t explored. What about the group chat? If you’ve played BG3, you know that the interplay between the companions can be absolutely priceless, and we’re here for that.

Throw everyone in a single group, drop in a topic and watch the banter fly. There’d be Shadowheart singing the praises of her dark goddess, Karlach raging about how many enemies she’s going to fell and Astarion just being as acerbic as he always is. How could you go wrong?

Then there are all the many, many sub-groups that would inevitable get created – Astarion’s Murder Posse, Shadowheart’s Shar Appreciation Club, Halsin’s ‘Grin and Bear It’ Gang. There’s so much potential here. In fact, Larian, could you get working on this for Baldur’s Gate 4? That’d be great.

If you’ve not played the brilliant Baldur’s Gate 3 (here’s our experience), it’s out now on PlayStation 5, Xbox Series X|S and PC. Though if you are playing on Xbox, be sure to link your Larian account because there’s an ongoing save issue.

Weekend Editor // Chris has been gaming since the days of the Acorn Electron, which was allegedly purchased to 'help him with his homework'. You can probably guess how well that went. He’ll tackle most genres – football titles aside – though he has a taste for games that that are post-apocalyptic, horror-oriented or thought provoking in nature.