10 Stupid Things in Video Games That Annoy Us
Stupid Things in Video Games
There are many stupid things in video games.
Sometimes it’s because of limitations of the hardware they’re run on. Older engines may limit possible environment size and the number of interactive objects within them. Other times it’s simply a design decision, made to either control how the player acts within the game world or pad out the experience in order to increase playtime. Either way, there’s no getting around it; for better or worse, games are inherently stupid, and they probably will be for the foreseeable future.
So without further ado, I’ve made a list of my top 10 stupid things in games for your reading (dis)pleasure. Hopefully some of you will feel my pain.
Eating random objects cures most injuries and ailments
Been shot? No worries. Just eat this grape I’ve just found in a bin and you’ll be fine. Stabbed with a sword? No problem. Devour this chunk of raw meat cut from a mangy beast that I’ve just defeated and watch that wound heal right up.
A long-term stupid thing in video games, it would appear that our favourite characters aren’t too picky about what they eat. From classics like Castlevania where you break walls to discover hunks of meat, to modern games like Bioshock: Infinite where you scavenge food from just about anywhere you can, game characters eat things that even Bear Grylls would have second thoughts about. Then again, when they seem to have mystical healing properties that enable you to withstand the most severe injuries, why wouldn’t you?
You can’t pick up weapons lying around
You’re trapped, alone in a hostile environment with a maniac hot on your heels. You frantically scramble at your surroundings looking for a means of defence, and in the corner of the room you see a wrench. “That’ll do!” you think, as you hurriedly make your way over to it. Then, a grim realisation hits you: you can’t pick it up. You can’t pick up the knife that’s suddenly come in your view either, or the baseball bat you spot lying under a desk.
It’s a plague that exists in many games, especially horror games. The inability to pick up objects in the environment that you feel are relevant or useful is usually illogical and downright maddening. Maybe one day game worlds will really allow us to pick up and use everything. We can hope.
Inconceivable obstacles
We’ve all been there. You’re taking a nice stroll, enjoying your surroundings, and then all of a sudden you realise there’s an obstacle blocking your path. Strange thing is though, for some reason you just can’t pass. It doesn’t matter if it’s only as high as your shins or easily movable, you are simply powerless at negotiating the obstacle however improbable it may seem.
Too many games suffer this idiocy, especially those featuring athletic characters that should surely be able to traverse the environment with ease. It’s even worse when you just know that your objective lies just beyond that tiny obstruction. Try as you might, you’ve got to take an elaborate detour to pad out the playing time. Videogames, eh?
AI with psychic abilities
I often wonder if the enemies in many games are the product of some kind of genetic experimentation what with the inhumanly acute senses that they frequently seem to exhibit. From shooters to beat-em ups, sometimes the AI behind your adversaries is just a little too keen.
The Far Cry series is one of the worst culprits of this. God forbid you ever get spotted, as suddenly every enemy in the vicinity will know exactly where you are and will rain bullets upon you with frightening accuracy. Trying to run away and hide in foliage won’t do you any good either, as your enemies seemingly have Predator-style thermal version and will continue with their barrage of gunfire until you expire. Irritating to say the least.
Encumbrance/weight limits
The bane of all hoarders worldwide. It doesn’t matter that you can carry an obscene amount of items yet visibly have no pockets. But picking up that one stray herb is seemingly enough to prevent you moving at more than a snail’s pace.
The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim and The Witcher 3 are the worst culprits in recent memory of this inventory management nightmare. It’s not too bad when the weight limits are there to prevent you from hoarding too much, but when you can’t even carry crafting materials and alchemy ingredients for fear of becoming ‘encumbered’ I can’t help but feel disdain.
Running into invisible walls
I feel sorry for many game characters. A legion of them must face severe existential crises what with the amount of strange invisible force fields that they encounter, preventing them from experiencing pastures new.
As if inconceivable obstacles weren’t enough, invisible walls go one step further to achieve ridiculousness. Too many games to mention feature this staple of the industry, but thankfully as consoles get more advanced the practice has become less prevalent. The day when video game characters no longer have to worry about being a digital mime will no doubt be a glorious one.
Characters can do badass moves in cutscenes that you can’t do in-game
Everyone loves a good cutscene, right? But what about when they depict your playable character doing all sorts of fancy manoeuvres that would make the game immensely more fun (or easier) if you could actually do them in-game?
Games like Devil May Cry are the worst perpetrators of this offence, We’ve lost count of the amount of times we’ve seen Dante doing crazy and amazing moves that make his basic moveset seem like child’s play in comparison. Yeah, it may look all nice and fancy but it’s just rubbing it in our faces, damnit!
Cheap final bosses
Imagine this. You’ve been travelling the world for what seems like an age, honing your skills into a fine art. You’ve acquired the best equipment money can buy and assembled a network of companions all ready to aid your cause. “Let’s do this!”, you exclaim, as you trundle off to do battle with your ultimate foe, sure that you’ve taken all the steps necessary to make your final conflict a walk in the park. The battle is going well. You’ve exchanged a few blows and the boss is nearing defeat whilst you’re nearly at your prime. Then, it hits you, quite literally, and you fall into a heap on the floor. Game Over.
Perhaps the most infuriating thing in videogames, cheap final bosses are the most vile creation ever. RPGs are the worst for it – and it doesn’t even have to be final bosses, either.Dungeon crawlers in particular drive me mad with their random walls of difficulty, forcing you to go and grind levels and equipment for god knows how many hours just to progress past a grossly overpowered foe. Fighting games have their own share of cheap final bosses, too. Anyone that has played an iteration of Street Fighter 4 and fell victim to the bastard known as Seth has my deepest sympathies.
People don’t mind when you wander into their house and steal things
A real test of your moral compass, this one. In real life (hopefully) none of us would consider it acceptable to wander into a stranger’s house unannounced, let alone rifle through their belongings before pilfering anything that seems mildly useful. In video games however, it’s fair game. The householders regularly just stand by while you frantically search through their undies for a life potion or a few coins.
It’s hard to find an RPG or open world adventure game that doesn’t allow you to be a cyber-criminal, although a few do have negative repercussions if you get caught. Some players will try to play without engaging in such activities, and to them I salute. But as wrong as it may be, I will continue looting and trespassing for as long as it proves to be a highly rewarding endeavour.
Wasting time doing pointless tasks when the world or a loved one is in mortal danger
Ah, this one is my personal favourite of all the stupid things in video games. You have to admire the laid-back nature of video game protagonists. The love of your life can be in danger, or the world can be on the brink of an apocalypse with only you able to stop it, and where are you? Rounding up Mrs Wiggins’ sheep from down the road ‘cause she’s promised you a slice of her special pie for doing so. It’s not like there’s anything more important you’ve got to do is there?
Sometimes it’s through choice, other times it’s through the sheer necessity to improve your strengths and abilities before completing the task at hand. Either way, video game characters sure do like to waste their time doing inconsequential activities and quests in order to fuel their own ego and build a bigger coin purse. Maybe it’s their way to unwind; a way to clear their head before doing what needs to be done. Maybe they simply just don’t care. Who knows? But one thing is certain: if it was my princess that had been kidnapped by a nefarious villain, I wouldn’t be spending my time swinging my sword at bits of grass in the hope of finding coin. Link, I’m looking at you.
