The 10 Best and Worst Dads of Gaming

The Best (and Worst) Video Game Dads

If the most recent God of War has reminded us of anything, it’s that games are often one of the best places to find dads.

Big dads, small dads, old dads, young dads, there’s a lot of dads. Sometimes dads are cool and handle the responsibilities of fatherhood with dignity and grace. Other times, they don’t. After all, being a parent isn’t so easy, even if you aren’t a literal God of War. So, in that spirit, let’s take a look and some of the best and worst dads in video games.

The Best: Craig Cahn from Dream Daddy

Since video games are so often obsessed with blowing things up, it’s rare to find characters so grounded and down to earth. When it comes to the idea of a dad, what better place to start than the most mundane of the mundane

I’m talking about the sort of dad that you’d see in line at the grocery store with a baby strapped to him. The sort of guy like Craig Cahn from Dream Daddy. Sure, there are lots of great dads in Dream Daddy, but there’s something about how put together Craig is that I feel almost jealous of. You can also date him, which is a plus.

The Worst: Octodad from Octodad: Dadliest Catch

As hard as it is to be a good dad to your kids, it’s remarkably easy to be a bad one. That’s why its so charming to see Octodad work. An octopus doing his best human impersonation, Octodad is the sort of guy its easy to root for.

Don’t let his wonky physics fool you, however. Although his motivations are just, Octodad has created a life built on lies. He’s fortunate that at the end of the game, his family accepts him for who he is, but I for one would have a lot of questions if I found out my dad was actually just an octopus wearing a suit.

The Best: Kazuma Kiryu from Yakuza

Of course, being a dad doesn’t mean you have to be a blood relative. Some dads build even closer bonds to their kids for that very reason. Their love isn’t guaranteed, but they do so anyway.

I’m not sure if there’s a better example of that than in the Dragon of Dojima himself, Kazuma Kiryu. Becoming the adoptive father of Haruka in the first Yakuza after the death of her mother, over the course of six games we’ve seen their relationship build and grow. Whether its by supporting her aspirations of J-pop idol stardom or helping protect her newborn baby in her absence, Kiyru is the ultimate crime dad, without question.

The Worst: Big Boss from Metal Gear Solid

We’ve touched on blood-related dads, adoptive dads, and even Octodads, but what about clone dads?

Less like children and more like easy-bake versions of yourself, the relationship betweens clones and their clone dads can be a bit tricky. Case and point, Big Boss from Metal Gear Solid. The greatest soldier of the twentieth century, Big Boss was cloned as a part of the Les Enfants Terribles project. Despite his prowess on the battlefield, however, Big Boss didn’t turn out to be the best dad. Not only skipping out on most of their lives, he also tried to kill his kid Solid Snake on a number of occasions, which is certifiably bad dad behaviour, for sure.

The Best: Geralt of Rivia from The Witcher

There’s something special about the types of characters who would, at first glance, seem to be terrible dads that somehow prove you wrong . Characters like Geralt of Rivia who, by most accounts, isn’t the nicest guy. Apathetic, cynical, and has weird cat-eyes, Geralt of Rivia seems to be the kind of guy who would hate kids.

Of course, in The Witcher 3, he proved us all wrong by becoming one of the best dads ever to Ciri, his adoptive daughter. Not only does Geralt remind Ciri that she’s got someone who deeply cares for her, he goes toe to toe with the creepy ghost knights that are chasing her just like any good dad would. If that’s not prime dad material, I don’t know what is.

The Worst: King of All Cosmos from Katamari Damacy

Everyone makes mistakes, but it takes someone special to ruin the entire galaxy on a regular basis. I’m of course speaking of the King of All Cosmos from Katamari Damacy.

The colourful cylinder-shaped space god from Katamari Damacy is as weird as the game he exists within, but what makes him bad isn’t his tyranny over the universe. No, what makes him so terrible is that when he somehow destroys large portions of his dominion, which somehow happens all the time, he tasks his son, the Prince, with fixing it. There’s nothing worse than someone who won’t take responsibility for their actions. Although, if he did, there wouldn’t be any more Katamari Damacy games so I can’t really complain.

The Best: Barret Wallace from Final Fantasy VII

I don’t know of many people that would adopt their friend’s kid just because they fell off a cliff. Barret is by no means your normal, average dad, of course.

Taking in Marlene as his own after his best friend Dyne dies (only he doesn’t), Barret is also the leader of AVALANCHE, an environmental advocacy group that sometimes blows up energy reactors. Sure he is rough, brutish, and maybe a bit of an oaf, but when he’s with Marlene he’s the sweetest dad around. He also gets bonus points for the gun arm.

The Worst: Heihachi Mishima from Tekken

You’ve got to be a certain type of bad parent to have an entire fighting game franchise based on the relationship you have with your son. It just so happens that Heihachi Mishima is exactly that bad of a dad.

Throwing his son into a volcano, for starters, Heihachi is the perfect example of the “tough love” archetype that’s gone a little too far. It definitely doesn’t help that Akuma, the bad guy from an entirely different fighting game franchise, shows up in Tekken 7 just because of how bad of a dad Heihachi is. It’s honestly quite impressive.

The Best: Dr. Light from Megaman

It might be a stretch to call Dr. Light a dad, but I can’t think of him as anything else than a father to the blue bomber. His comically large white beard might make him look like Santa Claus, and his penchant for tinkering definitely adds ammunition to that image, but his most identifiable attribute is his overwhelming kindness.

The sort of guy who wants everyone to just get along, Dr. Light’s story gets more tragic as the games progress, but there’s no getting around the fact that he just wants what’s best for his little robo-children.

The Worst: Ethan Mars from Heavy Rain

Last and definitely least, we have Ethan Mars, the epitome of bad dads. His introduction in Heavy Rain is probably one of the most pathetic things I’ve ever seen in a video game. After yelling his son’s name in a crowded mall for a millenia, he eventually fails to save him from getting hit by a car, leading to his death. Definitely a negative point for Ethan there. Even worse is that when we see Ethan again, his life is in shambles after his wife divorces him. His other son, who is still alive, is a potential victim for the game’s Origami Killer.

So, if I wasn’t clear enough already, Ethan Mars is definitely worse than the guy who threw his kid into a volcano.